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                                Equestria Girls: Beyond Life and Death
                                    Chapter 05: Shocking Discovery

[Canterlot High, Gym Class]

a majority of teenage students were gathered in the Gym, dressed in school uniforms.

with them was their teacher: Miss Cheerilee.

"Now, Class.." began Cheerilee

"For today's recreational activity.
 We are going to hone your Response and Reaction capabilities."

many students looked puzzled.

"Huh??!" said Pinkie Pie

Cheerilee scowled.

"We are playing DODGEBALL, Today."


Fluttershy was shaking like a Hairless Cat in the Arctic.

(("i'm not sure I like where this is going..")) whispered Rarity to Twilight

(("oh, RE-LAX..")) began Rainbow Dash

(("dodgeball is just another sport that I am a total master at.
   just Jump, Duck and Evade the balls, and you'll be Alllll-right."))

Cheerilee continued speaking.

"AND, Volunteering on behalf of the school staff,
 to throw the balls that you all will have to avoid will be the following students.."

As Cheerilee spoke a name, a familiar face stepped up.

"Gilda Gryphon..Lightning Dust..Trixie Lunamoon..
 and, serving as team captain: Sunset Shimmer."

All four of the girls smiled "insane grins" at the others.

(("nevermind..we're all gonna die.")) said Rainbow Dash, monotoned

Sunset smirked.

(("aim for the butterfly girl..she's Easy Meat.")) whispered Sunset

Gilda grinned toothy grin.

(("dibs on Sparkle!!")) said Trixie

(("nice try, I'M getting Sparkle.
   You wail on "Miss Priss" over there.")) said Sunset

(("you ladies can target whoever you want,
   but, "rainbow crash" is MINE to destroy."))

Gilda nudged at Lightning Dust

(("aim for her belly..that's her weak spot."))

Lightning Dust grinned.

Pinkie Pie grimaced.

(("i'm all for Smiles and Laughter..
   but, those four are creeping me out.")) whispered Pinkie

(("yeah, kinda like how foxes act near a henhouse.")) added Applejack

"Okay, now..GET READY." said Cheerilee

the four girls grinned evily,
and raised dodgeballs in both hands..while the teens on the opposite side trembled.


flames burned in Sunset and Lightning's eyes.


Pinkie began writing her "Will"




The bright red balls flew through the air like cannonballs.
in less than 0.1 seconds, Five or Six students were Already flat on the ground.

Pinkie Pie blew a "funeral march" on a trumpet
while everyone else ran in all directions.

Sunset and her team all chuckled as they picked off One teen, after another.

"EIGHT..NINE..TEN!!" counted Lightning Dust


"oh, you are NOT getting that many!!" snapped Lightning Dust at Trixie

Trixie eyed Lightning Dust

"SURE I am...(one-hundred.)"

"Just pop'em off!!, we'll tally our scores LATER." said Sunset, sternly

Twilight and her friends (like everybody else) ran like rabbits.
trying their best to avoid getting hit by the girls that they KNEW had it in for them.

Ironically, Fluttershy did a much better job at "dodging" then the others were.

Twilight ducked and leapt up,
as speeding balls jetted over her head, and under her legs.

a brused-up Rarity began crawling on the ground, gripping Applejack's boot.

"i'm..I'm not going to make it (cough!!)
 go on..without me (cough, choke) and, tell Sweetie Bell..I love her."


Applejack ran off as dodgeballs "chased her".

"Hey!!, COME BAAAAAAACK!!!" shouted Rarity, angrily

"(shouting) I WAS JUST BEING DRAMATIC!!!!"


a speeding ball hits Rarity in the back of her head, knocking her out.
Rainbow Dash then ran up, threw Rarity over her shoulder like a sack of potatos and walked off.

"don't worry, Rare..I ain't leaving you behind."

balls were flung at Rainbow Dash..but, hit the KOed Rarity, instead.

Rainbow Dash then smiled.

"PLUS: You make a darn good shield, too."

(("SOMEBODY GET ME MY BROWN AND RUBBER UNDERPANTS!!!")) shouted Pinkie Pie via a Megaphone



"AAH!!, MY STRADIVARIUS!!!" exclaimed Octavia



"Marwy hadda Whittle Wham, it's Fweese was White as Snow!!!" sang Derpy, dazed and confused




Vinyl Scratch collapsed on the mat.

Twilight ran to a wall.
she quickly turned, and saw Sunset standing before her.

the Red/Yellow haired girl smirked as she tossed a single ball in her hand.

"well, well, well..What have we HERE??!
 my LEAST favorite person in the whoooole world right where I want her: AGAINST A WALL."

Twilight swallowed hard,
while Sunset's grin grew wider..and, creepier.

"I've got something special (charged ball with magic) Just. For. YOU!!"

"Hey, wait: THAT'S CHEATING!!
 You know we can't use magic in a competition!!"

Sunset's mystic energy faded..
but, the transparent shimmer indicated that it was only cloaked, and still remained.

"What magic?!"

"YOU CAN'T-!!"

Sunset threw her ball..which shot like a burning comet.

Twilight ducked (narrowing missing the speeding projectile by a hair)
and, the ball impacted and bounced off the wall, ricocheting throughout the entire gym.

Just then, a door opened..and, in walked Alex Cosmos.

"ALEX!!, WATCH OUT!!!!" called Rainbow Dash


Alex looked up..just in time to see a speeding dodgeball impact his face.




"FOWL BALL!!, FOWL BALL!!!!" shouted Cheerilee

everyone rushed over to the Koed Alex,
who was laying motionless on the floor.

almost immediatly, Twilight and Sunset GLARED at one another.



"YOUR the one who THREW. THE. BALL, SUNSET!!" snapped Twilight, pointing an accusing finger

"Oh, Yeah!!?
 well, YOUR the one who ducked!!" retorted Sunset, also pointing an accusing finger

"Oh, I'M SORRY.." began Twilight, sarcasticly

"I thought we were playing "Dodgeball"
 Not: "Stand-There-And-Take-It-Like-An-Idiot-Ball!!"

"If you HAD, This wouldn't of happened!!"

"YOU CHEATED!!: You used MAGIC!!!"


"DID SO!!"


(("QUIEEEEET!!!!)) shrieked a voice

everyone looked at Fluttershy.

"um..if you please??"


Everyone looked back at Alex as he groaned weakly.
Ms. Cheerilee bent down to examine him.

"ooh..that's one NASTY bruse." said Cheerilee

"Better have Nurse Redheart have a look at him."

Cheerilee picked Alex up,
and, carried him bridal style out of the gym.

Once gone, Twilight and Sunset resumed glaring at one another.



Alex Jr. raised an eyebrow.

"did you REALLY say that, momma??"

"yes, i did,
 and, I meant every word of it, too."

Alex Jr. paused for a moment.

"How come Ms. Shimmer was mad that Daddy got hurt??"

Twilight exhaled sharply.

 well,'s a little complicated."

Twilight looked at her young boy..who looked up at her.

"(deep sigh) baby..I wasn't the only one who liked your father back then.
 Sunset also had a crush on him, and seemed to hate me even more for it."

Alex Jr. looked confused.

"Don't think about it too much, hon.
 just relax, and listen to the story.."


[Canterlot High Nurse's Office]

It was a very 'tense' scene outside the nurse's office..

both Twilight and Sunset were seated next to each other.
with their respected group of friends glaring at each other..
(and, if look could kill, they'd all be dead by now.)

just then, the door opened and out came Nurse Redheart.
everyone (well, Twilight and Sunset, mostly) stood up.

"Which one of you is 'Sparkle' and 'Shimmer??"

"I AM!!"

"alright, YOU TWO: Come with me.
 (looks at the others) The rest of you STAY OUT, there ain't enough room for all of you."

Twilight and Sunset followed Redheart inside the office..
leaving their respected friends alone with each other outside.

Pinkie Pie smiled.

"So..Who want's to play "Truth or Dare??!"

Gilda grinned.

"Alright..I dare you to climb the Crystal Empire State Building, and take a dive."

Rainbow Dash glared at her former friend.

"Hmmm..Nope, better not: I haven't got a parachute."


[Nurse's Office]

Twilight and Sunset stepped into the room..where they saw Alex laying on a cot.

his chest was rising and falling (so, they knew he was still alive)
and, his body was draped with a thick white sheet.

"Is he-"

Redheart turned around, and faced the two girls.

"I want to know EXACTLY what happened during Gym Class..and, I 'WANT-THE-TRUTH!!"

Twilight and Sunset were both flabbergasted.

"Well-(stampers) W-We TOLD you!!.." began Twilight

"We were playing Dodgeball, and (glares at Sunset) SOMEONE had it out for me!!"

Sunset scoffed at this.

"Sunset ILLEGALLY charged her ball with magic.
 flung it at me..I ducked, and it ricocheted all over the gym and Hit Alex square in the face!!"

"LIAR!!, I didn't use any magic!!!" snapped Sunset

"MISS SHIMMER!!!" snapped Redheart

Sunset put on a "sweet smile"

"Y-Yes, Nurse Redheart??!"

"This is a VERY serious case we have here.
 and, if one of you is lying, I could make the WRONG assessment over Mister Cosmos Health!!"

Sunset looked down, frowning.

"Now..I am only going to ask this ONCE: Did you use Magic on your dodgeball!!?"

Sunset eyed Twilight..
then, looked down and exhaled.

"yes..yes, i did."

Redheart gave Sunset her usual "cold glare"
then, turned right around and approached Alex's sleeping form.

"THANKFULLY, Mister Cosmos injuried weren't too servere.
 he only suffered a mild concussion, and a brusing over his eye."

Twilight and Sunset walked near Redheart,
and, noted what looked like a "blackeye" on Alex's face.

"THIS, However.."

Redheart tore the blanket off, unvealing a shirtless Alex.

Both Twilight and Sunset covered their mouths,
stunned and shocked at what they saw before them.

"WASN'T caused by a stray dodgeball." finished Redheart, her tone stern

the two girls stared at Alex's body: Nothing but Scars and Bruses of varied types.
most were faded, while some were more recent..ALL look horribly grotesque.

as Twilight and Sunset stared, Redheart continued to speak.

"Now..I realise that boys his age do some Crazy Stuff after school hours.
 but, either this boy is engaging in some seriously EXTREME sports.."

Redheart then faced the two teenagers, glaring at them.

"OR, HE'S BEING BRUTALIZED!!!" snapped Redheart, back in "Scary Nurse" mode

Redheart looked at Twilight.

"Do YOU know anything about this??!"

"N-N-NO!!, I Don't!!" stampered Twilight, still shocked

"You SURE??!
 You and Him are awfully "chummy", You MUST know something!!"

"I Don't, REALLY!!!
 I-I-I'm just as surprised as you are!!"

Redheart snorted.

THEN, she look to Sunset Shimmer.

"And, what of YOU??"

Sunset at last broke her gaze, and looked at Redheart.

"What ABOUT me??"

"You have anything to do with this??"

Sunset was taken aback, stunned.


"You have a "dubious" reputation, Ms. Shimmer..
 Many students here, both Boys, Girls and even CHILDREN are afraid of you.

 SOME..have even reported "exccessive force"
 from YOU, and your group of friends."

Sunset crossed her arms, scoffing.

"Maybe..But, I would NEVER hurt this boy.
 and, even if I did, CERTAINLY not like this!!"

Sunset looked at Alex, again.

"I mean..JUST LOOK AT HIM!!!"

Redheart and Twilight looked again.

"For someone like ME??, I'd given a quick beating.
 left you with some bruses that go away in a week.

 but, THIS!!..(deep sigh) This is the work of a Sadist, a True Sociopath.
 SOMEONE hates this kid, and took his sweet time to make sure he knows it.."

Sunset began pointing at random scars on Alex's body.

"This burn was obviously done with a lighter..or, SOMETHING.
 and, this Loooong scar across his chest must've been done with the same kind of knife you cut meat with!!"

chills went down Twilight's spine.

"SO, he's being butchered..but, by WHO??" said Redheart

Sunset shrugged.

"Search me.."

Redheart eyed Sunset (her face INCHES away from hers)

"hmph..alright, then."

Redheart pulled away, and scribbled into a clipboard.

"I'll have to report this to Principle Celestia.
 if this boy IS being abused, then it MUSt be thoroughly investigated."

Red looked at Sunset.

"and, as for YOU, Ms. Shimmer..
 I suggest you report to Vice-Principle Luna's office IMMEDIATLY."

"What for??"


Sunset cast a glare at Twilight..
the, glanced over at Alex (frowning as she did), then finally stormed off.

Twilight looked back at Alex,
once again staring at his many scars and bruses.

"i..I don't understand." began Twilight, awestruck

"Who would do such a thing!!?
 and..WHY didn't he tell me??"

Twilight's eyes became wet and moist.
her mind running wild on how Alex's injures may've occurred.

"I don't know.." said Redheart

"But, it is MY Job to find out,
 and, put a stop to whoever is doing this."

Redheart then exhaled.

"I have to go report this.
 YOU stay here, and keep an eye on the patient."

Twilight looked at Redheart, and nodded.

"Y-Yes, Nurse Redheart..I-I will."


With that, Redheart turned and walked out.
leaving Twilight ALONE with the still unconscience Alex.

but, not for very long..


Twilight looked back, and saw her friends entering the room.

"We saw Sunset and Nurse Redheart leave..What's-"

Just then, the girls all froze upon seeing Alex.


the girls stared at Alex's many, MANY injuries.
then..they looked at Twilight (who had a "far out" look in her eyes)

"Twilight..WHAT HAPPENED!!?"

Twilight exhaled sharply.

"i wish i knew."

Twilight eyed a discarded shirt (which she knew to belong to Alex.)
she then grabbed it, and carefully put it back onto Alex, concealing his scars.

"someone is hurting alex.." said Twilight, finally

"alex is being hurt BRUTALLY.
 and, it seems he's been hiding it from me-, US..all this time."

Applejack scratched her head.

"hmm..well, That sure explains why he acts so Nervous all th' time."

"But, WHY wouldn't he tell us about it!!?" exclaimed Rainbow Dash

"i mean..WE'RE HIS FRIENDS!!: Doesn't he trust us!??"

Fluttershy frowned as she stared at Alex.

"maybe..maybe he DOES trust us.
 b-but, he's..just SCARED."

Twilight thought for a moment..then, remembered something.



"Are you okay??" asked Twilight, concerned

Alex frowned, his body still shaking.

"i..I don't know.
 this is the latest i've ever come home."

Twilight frowned.

"well..if you want, I could come with you."

Alex looked at Twilight.

"I could explain to your folks why your so late." continued Twilight

Alex took a moment to consider this..but, eventually shook his head.

"no." said Alex

"no, I don't want hi-THEM, b-being angry at you.
 this is My Problem, not yours: I can handle it, myself."

"Yeah, but..if you get in trouble, It'll be my fault.
 so, It only seems fair for us to take equal share of th-"

"NO!!" snapped Alex, suddenly

"no, you DON'T want me."

Twilight eyed Alex.

"Alex..what's wrong??!"

Alex's hand was shaking..almost like his nerves were shot.
but, he gripped his hand and put on a Fake Smile.

"Nothing..nothing at all.
 I-I'll see you, Tomorrow."

***[End of Flashback]***

Twilight widened her eyes.

"Alex IS scared of something..Terrified.
 and, whatever it is..It's at HOME."

"What??" said Rarity, puzzled

"I remember driving Alex to his house one day.." began Twilight

"It was LATE, and he was trembling in fear.
 He was Afraid to go back home that day.."

Twilight touched her head, her own body trembling.

"Wait.." began Applejack

"Are you sayin' that Alex is bein' abuse by HIS OWN FAMILY!!?"

Twilight looked at her friend.

"There was SOMETHING he was afraid of at his house, Applejack.
 and, whatever it is..he was too scared to even let me IN his house to see."

Applejack gripped each of her arms.
she then walked over to Alex, and pulled back his shirt.

shuddering at what she saw..she turned away.

"we CAN'T let him go back home.." began Applejack

"If he IS bein' abused by..(trembling) his own FAMILY.
 then, we can't risk him getin' any more hurt than he already is."

"How??!" said Twilight, unsure what to do

"WE COULD HOST A SLEEPOVER!!!" chirped Pinkie Pie

Applejack groaned.

"Girls, I don't care if we hafta' KIDNAP HIM
 and, haul his hide all the way to China..

 We CAN'T let him stay in his house.
 Not if THIS is what's waitin' for him there!!"

"Okay..that DOES seem sensible." began Rarity

"but, we can't keep him away his house Forever.
 if we want to REALLY help him, then we need to find a way to stop this..not just Avoid It."

"We'll think of something!!" said Rainbow Dash

"we'll have to.."

At that moment, Alex began to awaken.
the Six girls all looked down at him, concerned looks on their faces.


Alex's eyes began to flutter open.
his vision was blurred, so he had to rub his eyes for a moment.

his vision soon focused, and saw six familiar faces looking at him.


Twilight did her best to smile.

"yes,'s US."

Alex groaned as he sat up.

"wha-What's going on??..
 What am I doing in a hospital?!"

Pinkie giggled.

"This isn't a Hospital, Silly!!: It's the School Nurse's Office!!"

Twilight looked back at Alex.

"Don't you remember, Alex??
 You came to Gym Class, and a Dodgeball hit you."

Alex groaned as he rubbed his "black eye."

"I do seem to recall Something flying at me..
 then, everything went dark, an-"

Alex groaned even louder.

"oh, man..Do I have a headache!!"

"Do you?!" said Pinkie Pie, smiling

Alex looked at poofy haired girl..then, smiled weakly.
but, he soon resumed groaning from his minor discomfort.

"so..Who hit me??"

"Sunset Shimmer." said Twilight

"But, it was an accident: She was aiming for ME."

Alex looked at Twilight.

"Then, she must REALLY hate you, as hard as her ball hit me."

Twilight smiled weakly.

then..Rainbow Dash spoke up.

"Alex, I think we should tal-ERRP!!"

twilight suddenly covered Rainbow's mouth, preventing her from speaking.

"TALK to Principle Celestia..about the incident." said Twilight, nervously

Alex eyed Twilight (as did the other girls)

Twilight then looked at her friends.

"Pinkie, Fluttershy..You two stay here with Alex.
 Cheer him up, and Keep his mind on SOMETHING ELSE." said Twilight, suggestivly

Pinkie stared blankly, blinking a few times.

"But, Twi..Shouldn't we talk to-"

"To CELESTIA!!" said Twilight, cutting off Applejack

"We need to speak with Celestia about Sunset's bad behavior."

With that, Twilight left with rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity.
leaving Alex alone in the room with Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy.

"Sooo..Seen any good movies, lately??!" began Pinkie Pie

"well, i-"

"I went to see 'Iron Man 3', once.
 now, THAT movie was WICKED COOL!!!"

[Elsewhere in a Hallway]

Once outside the Nurse's Office, Applejack eyed Twilight sternly

"What's the da'burn DEAL, Twilight!!?"

"Yeah!!, Why'd you shut us down!??" snapped Rainbow Dash

"We can't let Alex know that WE know his secret.." began Twilight, serious

"He's keeping this from us for SOME Reason.
 and, if we let him know that we know it, he may not let us help him."

"Oh..that DOES make sense." said Rarity, agreeing

"So, what??: You want us to LIE!?" said Applejack, suspicious

"Not LIE..just keep this all a secret until the time is right.
 It's the ONLY Way that we can help Alex!!"

Applejack crossed her arms.

"I don't like feels Dishonest."

"I don't like it, either, Applejack!!
 but, if you have a better solution, I'd be happy to hear it."

Applejack did her best to think up another plan..
but, could only grumbled in aggravation at failing to come up with one.

"Okay, FINE..we'll do it your way for now.
 but, I ain't tellin' no Tall Tales for you.

 Mah' Granny didn't raise no Liar.
 If Alex starts asking me things, I 'AM' gonna tell him The Truth."

Twilight shrugged.

"Then, we'll just have to make sure he Doesn't Ask, then."

Rainbow Dash groaned.

"man, I already don't like where this is going.."
Previous Chapter:…

Next Chapter: In Progress..


Despite being the chapter where the girls discover Alex's secret (that he is being Abused)
I decided to write this one with as much humor as I possably could.

as well as put in a few character cameos that MLP Fans will enjoy.

I also hint at a possible (Okay, DEFIANT) love triangle
between Twilight Sparkle, Alex Cosmos and Sunset Shimmer.

as well as making Sunset more "human", by having her show emotion at Alex's injuries

I also once again bring up my personal change to this version of Equestria Girls.
where the humanized characters have special abilities, and are restricted in using them in certain situations
(for instance, I use an old Fairly Oddparents Rule: "Magic must NEVER be used to win a Competition")

I also give Sunset her team.
made up of the Minor Antagonists of the MLP Universe
(most of which are personal foes of Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash)


My Little Pony copyright Bonnie Zacherle/Lauren Faust/Hasbro
Add a Comment:
Soulisblack Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Next chapter!!!!!!!!
iLOVEthisRAINBOWS Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Next chapter ?! :D
MetroXLR99 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Still working on it.
For now, you can read this:

It's a preview as the pony version of the same story
whose scenes will be VERY similar to what will transpire in this story.
DarthWill3 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Not bad, but your whole fanfic could use some rewriting.
MetroXLR99 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wish I had a $1 for ever time I heard that.

I'd be RICH.
DarthWill3 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
JFPierre Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Student General Artist
great chapter and I find it disturbing that Sunset was able to describe Alex's injuries like a CSI
MetroXLR99 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, I might be watching too much Batman and Sherlock Holmes..

Actually, this scene was meant to show that (like Twilight)
Sunset is the most intelligent girl in Canterlot High.

so, she isn't just another "mean girl": she's just as smart as Twilight is.
JFPierre Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Student General Artist
never thought of Sunset as stupid, near sighted sure but never stupid, since she ruled a school and made it so no one could touch her.
Theblackops2master Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Student Artist
Did flash get hit with the dodgeball or not
MetroXLR99 Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Knowing him??: probably not.
he seems to me to be an seasoned athlete.
kungfu-blaziken Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Vinyl Scratch collapsed on the mat.

Thank you, that was a bad song.
Aqua-the-decepticon Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013
"nevermind..we're all gonna die." XD Wasn’t it “Trixie LULAmoon”? Anyway, it was a clever idea to put those girls to throw the balls. The reactions of Derpy, Octavia and Vinyl Scraych were quite fun too. Guess it was a bad idea to bring a violin in GYM CLASS.
It’s fun how Sunset and Twilight seem to keep sharing crushes : after all in the film Flash WAS Sunset0s ex boyfriend.

Interesting one.
MetroXLR99 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

I hoped that line would get a laugh.

Anyway, I might've made an error in Trixie's surname.
but, you have to admit: It IS the type of name that sounds like that.

Octavia takes her personal hobby VERY seriously.
even if she IS going to Gym, she keeps her violin close to her at all times
(like a child carries a Teddy Bear or Blanket everywhere he goes.)

As for Sunset and Twilight.
I based the Love Triangle on Sunset's jealousy over Twilight.

the idea is that Sunset WAS the most favored,
until Twilight came along, and (as Sunset puts it) "Stole EVERYTHING from her"

Sunset really just wants what Twilight has.
and, wants her to be just as miserable as she feels
(of course, whether or not Sunset REALLY has feeling for Alex remains to be seen.)

On a related note,
I think I made a good decision in showing that Alex and Flash are good friends.

I mean, I don't want "FlashLight" fans to think I hate the guy
so, making my OC best friends with Flash seems like a good way to convince them of that.

Aqua-the-decepticon Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2013
Hmm, I get it. Your idea of love triangle is really complex but DOES make a bit of sense. Also, nice choice (about putting Alex as good friend with Flash and eventually having the latter to marry Twilight) , it allows Flashlight fans to get close to Alex's character, despite him ending up to be Twilight's lover anyway.
iLOVEthisRAINBOWS Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Mooooaaar <3
love it
Cough*Sunset is a Bitchh*Cough
MetroXLR99 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
In that case, I highly recommend you fav this for now:
as it has links to ALL the chapters completed thus far..

As for me, I must get to work on Chapter 06.
iLOVEthisRAINBOWS Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Jey , thanks
And I wish you good luck with chapter 6 . I hope it will be good ;)
sureshot9593 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013
Once again an excellent chapter. You do well to keep the drama going. I'm going mostly on assumption, and how my thought processes about writing stories goes, the next chap will consist of this sleepover they mentioned, and the following will be Alex's father gaining his comeuppance. Just a guess.
MetroXLR99 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

Sort of.

The next chapter will show each of The Six's attempts at keeping Alex AWAY from home.
which ends with the said Sleepover at Twilight's House, because I want Alex to meet Twilight's Family
(that includes Shining Armor and Cadance)

Mainly, because I want Alex to experience what it's like to be around a REAL Family.

you that actually cares for one another.

As for busting Lionel, that won't be as simple as you think.
Afterall..Luna appears to already know of it, but hasn't done anything yet.

sureshot9593 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013
I see, and kudos on the family idea. That should be heartwarming.
MetroXLR99 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well, I want a "Meet The Parents" scene, so Alex won't be a stranger to them
(which is essentially for the later chapters, when Alex is dying and Twilight becomes pregnant)

but, mostly..I want Alex to get to know Twilight's family.
especially her Brother, Shining Armor (who may be closer to "Twily" than any of them)

and, at really is about Alex being exposed to a loving family
and, get some relief from the "hellish chaos" that is his own family.

he might even find himself considering Twilight's father, "Nightlight"
to be an ideal father figure, and help him realize just how horrible Lionel truly is in comparison.
sureshot9593 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013
Too true. I'll be watching.
trilljacker6534 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013
you should of added the 5 D's dodgeball in this chapter.
MetroXLR99 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"5 D's of Dodgeball??", what's that??
trilljacker6534 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2013
& Dodge
Moheart7 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's from the movie, dodgeball
Dodge, duck, dip, dive and Dodge
MetroXLR99 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well, that would explain why I didn't understand: I've never seen that movie.
Moheart7 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
We'll I'd certainly recomend it
It's not the best comedy but it's still pretty decent
MetroXLR99 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'll make a note of that.

Any other things you wish to address regarding this chapter??
Moheart7 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well I gotta say it's absolutly fantastic to read, I'm just dying to see what this is leading up to. Oh BTW is is possible to fit in one of my MLP OCs in this? just as a Cameo… I'm thinking maybe she could be the reporter that investigates Alex's case
MetroXLR99 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'll certainly need some kind of Reporter Character in later chapters.
(most everyone close to me and the project know of the "Ghost Invasion"
 and, an event like that would require some fearless news anchor)

So, I may be able to oblige to your request when the time comes.  
(1 Reply)
Hordaks-Pupil Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Poor Alex I hope the girls put his sadistic father in his place. This is a powerful story full of emotion and angst which I love and savoring every chapter my friend. I hope Twi's plan work but as one person said the road to Hell is paved with good intentions and they may open something even they can't handle. On a lighter note I was happy to see Vinyl and Octavia and of course who doesn't love Derpy :iconmlpderpyplz: I can't wait to read more :D
MetroXLR99 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
At this point in the story, the Six don't yet know it's Alex's Father
(not unless Twilight was REALLY paying attention during her flashback.)

as far as they know, Both or Either of Alex's parents are abusing him,
and, they really just want to keep him away from home as long as possible.

Still..the question of HOW they are to solve this problem remains to be seen
(and, I have seen enough crime dramas to know that gaining justice isn't that simple.)

As for the lighter stuff.
I nearly worried of Derpy's scene, hoping I didn't make her too "dimwitted"

If it helps, I based her dialogue on a scene from a classic Looney Tunes short,
where Daffy and Porky sang a childish song whiling hallucinating.

Octavia's line was taken from a Three Stooges Skit
(to my knowledge, a "Stradivarius" is a very expensive type if Violin)

and, Vinyl's line was a parody of a certain Pop Star's song,
which was just humorous enough to have a double meaning in this scene
(in fact, I think that song has been parodied in such a way dozens of times.)
SpaceWonder368 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Cool references here. I love the humor and love triangle.
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